Fashions seem to be cyclical in nature. Just when a style has passed into distant memory, designers drudge it up again with a tiny tweak to freshen it up for the “new” look book. You have to have accumulated a few years to notice this, though. Flare jeans were a new thing to me when I was in middle school, but my mom promptly showed me vintage pics of my dad sporting some totally groovy plaid flare pants. It was then I realized that fashion just built upon itself, year after year, revisiting some styles with perceived merit.
Well, I am officially old enough now to recognize the ‘80’s fashion coming back around in the form of high-rise jeans, scrunchies, and crop tops, and it got me into a retro mindset. I started remembering more of the awesome ‘80’s and life as a young child then. It was a great time!
Children’s choir was a standard activity for kids at church in the 1980’s, and I was all about it! I believe my involvement in kids’ choir helped to shape who I am today through community and through the songs I learned during those impressionable years. Reminiscing about those days, I pulled up the Psalty albums on Spotify for my kids one day for some car music. We always call older songs “vintage” in my house instead of “dated” because the former sounds intriguing and a bit cool. To my delight, my second daughter loved so many of the songs! She was singing along in no time and picked up a few of the (rather difficult) harmonies as well. I was quite surprised to hear the challenging harmony structure and the part singing throughout these kids’ songs, and it dawned on me that I probably developed a bit of my musical ear from singing these very songs.
My daughter has always seemed to have a sixth sense of being able to judge quality, and her seal of approval on the music reminded me that a good melody will make a good song even with some “vintage” instrumentation or vocal stylings. She and I had the best time that afternoon of driving around listening to these ‘80’s tunes. My 2-year-old son was also grooving along, picking up bits and pieces of the songs with a big smile.
We were all singing together and having fun—so much bonding was happening in that very moment. It was also a way of connecting my children to my own sweet childhood memories in a way they could grasp. You better believe we will have a reprise of this sing-along—and I don’t think I’ll have to be the one to initiate it. I am pretty sure I will hear a cute young voice asking for the “Ha La La” song, and I will be so excited to hit the play button.
Share your retro songs with your kids! They might love some. They might think some are better left in another decade, but you might find a few goodies that will speak to everyone and become family favorites. Tell the stories that go along with the song. Did you sing the song in children’s choir? Was this your favorite song in second grade? Did your dad sing this song to you when you were afraid? Our kids love hearing these stories, and they will appreciate a shared song much more when they get some background information. So as you are pulling out the retro gear to pass on to your children, don’t forget to dust off those favorite “vintage” songs as well.
Maybe you have been lamenting the fact that your Spotify profile boasts more Wee Sing and silly song hits than that indie acoustic band you discovered last year. Or perhaps you have to nurse your raw throat with honeyed tea after the marathon nursery song singalong you hosted in your child’s bedroom last night. Maybe you are relishing the fact that your little one doesn’t care if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Whatever situation you find yourself in, toddlers love music, and you are their primary DJ for the next decade, so let’s talk about all the wonderful benefits of singing with your toddler.
1.) Increased vocabulary
Just as reading picture books helps toddlers grow in language awareness by association, singing songs helps a toddler place words within a context. When a child practices these songs repeatedly, he is ordering new words and grasping their meaning in a cohesive way. The poetic element of music also assists a child understand the flow and rhythm of language.
2.) Motor skill development
Music, in general, provides the rhythm that a toddler unabashedly enjoys. He might jump or sway to the beat or simply tap his fingers gently. Although his dancing is quite clumsy, his little brain is hard at work to coordinate entire muscle groups to a perceived rhythm and mood. I am always intrigued by how easily a very young child can adapt his or her movements to the tempo and mood of a song.
Singing also adds another layer of coordination as the child matches verbal ideas with specific movements. “The Wheels on the Bus” is a perfect example of the concrete hand motions a child moves rhythmically to illustrate an idea that is being sung. We take this for granted as adults, but it is remarkable to see a toddler putting all of this together.
3.) Listening skills
Singing with your toddlers also introduces auditory discernment. Children must listen to understand and reproduce the words they hear. They also learn to match the volume and even the style of singing in some cases.
4.) Observation skills
Toddlers are not too young to begin hearing distinctions in different pieces of music. Questions like, “What instrument do you hear?” or “Should we march or tiptoe for this song?” help prompt them to take a moment to observe and even participate with newfound concepts.
5.) Aural development
Matching pitch might be one of the earliest refinements a child learns on his road to singing with others. In the preschool stage, children are beginning to understand that they may sing with others, so to prepare toddlers to make this transition, singing rounds like “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” may help tune their ears to match an outside pitch. Any song that has melodic intervals that are based on the tonic triad is excellent for little ears to begin making these pitch connections.
6.) Long-Term Memory
Music is magical! We have all heard the stories of the aged who cannot remember what happened earlier that day, but they can remember the songs from their childhood. We all employ music to aid our memory. Have you ever sung your ABC’s to alphabetize something? Do you skip count by 5’s in the sing-song way your third-grade teacher taught you? Yes, singing with toddlers teaches their brains to make pathways and store information in their long-term memory even before they comprehend the words they are singing. Remarkable!
7.) Building a loving bond
Lest we think that singing with our toddlers serves only utilitarian brain-building functions, I must mention that when you sing with your child, you are forming a lasting bond with her. That bond is filled with fun, love, and warmth. Studies indicate that people who sing together experience a rush of oxytocin, which is known as the bonding chemical. Those who sing together feel a connection that is not achieved in many other ways. It is such a beautiful byproduct of a delightful activity, and it costs nothing and takes no advance planning.
So what are we waiting for? Our house is filled with music for most of the day. We sing along with our streaming service, we make up silly songs, and we sing hymns in the evening. We dance and groove to our nursery songs, and we clap to songs with a strong pulse. My little guy loves music, and at 20 months, he is already singing and filling in the words he knows. Almost nothing excites him more than one of his favorite songs!
What are your kids’ favorite songs? Do you all sing together as a family? What children’s albums do your children enjoy? Please share! Remember: your children won’t recall if the laundry was always folded and put away, but they will remember that you sang with them everyday.
The songs we choose to sing with our children have such a lasting impact because of the stickiness of music itself. A good melody becomes the four-lane highway delivery system to build a strong and centered source of truth that will whisper constantly in our children’s ears. Even when our children move away from home, they will take the songs of their childhood in their hearts with them, so we must take action now to lay that ever sure foundation of true identity.
Our identity is our unique perception of who we really are, our philosophical self-portrait. This construct informs all of our decisions and tethers us to our prescribed worldview. As our children grow and become more acquainted with the world and how it works, they will build their identity as they discover how they fit into world. Guiding a child through this process is a long game skill, but I do believe that there are some truths children (and adults) can never hear too often. For Christians, some of these truths are that we are God’s children, that we have been chosen, that we have a worth ascribed to us by God, and that we are secure in our standing before God.
I have begun to curate a playlist of identity songs to teach my children and to have playing in our home, and I would love to share them with you.
My first selection is “My Worth Is Not in What I Own” by Keith and Kristyn Getty and Graham Kendrick. My favorite lyrics belong to the second verse and speak so acutely to children and their whole world of dreams stretching before them:
My worth is not in skill or name In win or lose, in pride or shame But in the blood of Christ that flowed At the cross.
We have this song playing all the time, and my girls know all the words by heart. I especially like the version with the duet by Fernando Ortega and Kristyn Getty. Check it out!
The second song in my list is “Greater” by MercyMe. This is a really fun song for kids because it is upbeat and catchy, but there is a wealth of scriptural truth woven into the lyrics. Anytime I find a song with direct scripture quotes, I pay attention to it. I cannot think of a better identity for my children to have than being a redeemed child of the all-powerful God.
‘Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed When others say I’ll never be enough. And greater is the One living inside of me Than he who is living in the world.
I heard my third song selection, “From the Day,” for the first time at a conference several years ago when I Am They was the worship band. Let me just quickly add that if you have not heard of this band and do not know the meaning behind their name, it is worth your time to look up because it sheds light on a great truth! This song reminds us of our journey from darkness to light and calls us to live in the joy of the redeemed.
When You found me, I was so blind My sin was before me, I was swallowed by pride But out of the darkness, You brought me to Your light You showed me new mercy and opened up my eyes
From the day You saved my soul ‘Til the very moment when I come home I’ll sing, I’ll dance, my heart will overflow From the day You saved my soul
The call to a new life in Christ changes every part of us, and we are commanded to only look forward as a runner does in a race. The prolific hymn writer, Fanny Crosby, penned a joyful hymn of deep understanding of her new life in Christ. “Blessed Assurance” packs several deep scriptural truths about the identity of a believer being rooted in the work of Christ.
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine O what a foretaste of glory divine Heir of salvation, purchase of God Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood
As we teach our children the importance of their identity being rooted in Christ, we must also remind them that they have all they need in Jesus right now—“Jesus is mine.” They are presently an heir and forever belong to the Lord. We must never take for granted our children’s understanding of how they view themselves in the present. So much of our discipleship is of a forward-looking nature (future in heaven, one day seeing Jesus, etc.), but our children can greatly benefit from the reminder of who they are in Christ right now, and “Blessed Assurance” certainly fits the bill in this case. As one bonus song thrown in, I really enjoy “My Story” by Big Daddy Weave, which has an allusion in the bridge to Fanny Crosby’s hymn. It might be a good add-on after your kids have become familiar with “Blessed Assurance.”
Next is “Be Thou My Vision.” Oh, that our children would see life, the world, themselves through a lens crafted by their Heavenly Father! This ancient hymn is a profound prayer for the believers to keep their minds and hearts set upon their Savior amidst the distractions of this world. Every stanza brims with scriptural truth. In our modern culture of excess and self-promotion, I pray that my children can remember and live by these words:
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise Thou mine Inheritance, now and always Thou and Thou only, first in my heart High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art
My playlist for my children is ever growing, and I could mention dozens more songs, but this is a short read, not a novella. Let me simply close with the song, “Before the Throne of God Above,” written by Charitie Lees Bancroft (tune by Vikki Cook), which speaks to our standing as the Redeemed. The second verse reminds us to cling to the reality of Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
When Satan tempts me to despair, And tells me of the guilt within, Upward I look, and see Him there Who made an end to all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, My sinful soul is counted free; For God the just is satisfied To look on Him and pardon me
I pray for a shame and guilt-free life for my children because they have fully realized their Savior’s sacrifice and forgiveness. Whispering this truth into their ears, “Before the Throne of God Above” shatters the former claims of this world and spiritual darkness on the believer’s soul.
Like I mentioned before, I am discovering and rediscovering songs that speak to our standing with God, but I hope this very short list gets your mind marinating on the lyrics of songs you want to share with your children on who they are. Identity has become such a crucial part of modern thinking, and with the individual’s primacy rising to a peak in modern American culture, we need to be having these conversations with our children. If we don’t, the world will fill in the blanks, and it is a bankrupt alternative to the high calling placed upon Christians.
Subtle conversations through song and direct conversations when the moment strikes will be a great way to keep those lines of communication open. As your children grow and even leave the house, their connection with you might change but it won’t wane. I still love talking with my dad about songs, and we have lived states apart for a decade and a half. Our children are too precious and the years are too short to wait to speak heart to heart with them. Sing together, laugh together, and encourage one another with “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” while they are under your wing.
Come Sing Together 