Conversations of Song

“Mom! That reminds me of that song. You know, the one that goes…” If I had a dollar for every time my daughters said this to me, my retirement savings would be looking pretty stellar. In our home we interact with music and lyrics, and we delight in the artistry of the poetry and the crafting of a memorable melody. In fact, my husband and I are absolutely intentional about creating a music-filled atmosphere in our home. Conversations about songs flow freely, and it is not unusual for all of us to spend a dinner discussing all kinds of music from the Beatles to Bach.

Loving and appreciating music is one of those identity traits that defines our family, and it will always be a unifying point at the end of the day. We come together after occupying very different spaces of working, learning, parenting, and playing, and we find a connecting point through music. While we discuss a song, we turn another page in a chapter of our collective family history, and I find this kind of conversation quite beautiful.

Conversing about any given song provides some thoughtful topics and lively discussion, but I find the most meaningful communications we have within our family come when the song itself is the means of conversing. At times a song will convey a message so eloquently, so concisely, that the song will speak in a deeper and more lasting way than an hour-long conversation could. I remember taking long road trips with my dad when I was in high school, and he would patiently listen through my CDs and enjoy looking through that window into my teenage mind. Wisely, he would let me exhaust my picks before pulling out some of his CDs, and I found his musical taste refreshing even though it was “so retro!” It was on these drives that I gained a wide appreciation for good music no matter the genre. I learned how to listen to someone else’s perspective and how to give a new experience a fair chance. My amazing dad taught all of this to me through a wordless conversation of sharing music.

So now I am in the parent seat, and I remember how much those road trips shaped me and built my relationship with my dad. I have been thinking about building my relationship with my daughters as they approach their teen years, and I want to reach to their hearts even when words are absent. Sharing a song might just be the bridge; music might become the conversation. As I have reflected on this concept, I have come to believe that I want to start a subtle conversation with my daughters now with the songs that we have playing on rotation in our home. I want to converse about their identity, their hopes, their goals, their heartaches, their worldview, but I don’t want them to tire from the sound of my voice. A carefully curated playlist can travel with them wherever they go, and the truths will help inform their decision-making process. If I take my dad’s cue, too, I need to be a listener. After all, a conversation should never be one-sided. Listening to the songs that touch their hearts will give more than a glimpse of their precious thoughts. Yes, a conversation may be had through a song, and it may even be more truthful than a spoken conversation.

Over the next few weeks, I will be addressing the different conversations I think we should be singing with our children. We have such a gift in the endless supply of song today, and I am so excited to start harnessing this power for the life of my children. Will you join me? Next up in the cue is a playlist to converse with our kids about their identity in Christ. I believe there might not be a more timely topic. Keep singing with your family!